So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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