it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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