the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
wow bdsm is so cute
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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