So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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