on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
