we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
