did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
