One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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