I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I can't turn off my feet"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
