So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We have started to decorate penises.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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