Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
