And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
