Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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