bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
