i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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