it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
