A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
