Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
