if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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