"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
