so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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