So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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