I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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