He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
