either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
