On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
