Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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