i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
