I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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