Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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