I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
