I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
