How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
