I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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