omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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