I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
