ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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