i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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