Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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