yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
