Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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