Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this just has baby written all over it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
