his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
His hands were made for my vagina.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
