I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize