So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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