??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
