dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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