the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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