you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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