Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
