have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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