What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
