those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I had to cum in my sink.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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