i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can text with my tongue
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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