I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
