Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
