thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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