im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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