it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
