Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
