I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
