Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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