Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
