i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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