come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
