I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
