Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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