how can u be prego again
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
