You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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